Cause Its Me and My Life

Настолько yeah, I havent сказало моим родителям что я gay. Оно kinda докучает мне и я желаю я смогло сказать им, только мне не сумейте как они прореагировали бы. Моя мать не была бы к счастливому и я вспугнут он закончит любое сообщение я оставлял с моим отцом. Все его сновидения и упования его маленького мальчика поднимающи вверх и получая поженены и имея его собственную семью не идут случиться по мере того как он запланировал. Я не представил он случится эта дорога. Моя семья матей была бы очень упорна потому что они вероисповедна. Моя бабушка не позаботила бы. Моя сторона отцов не приняла бы меня. Я знаю это для уверенного.Моя сестра приняла добро информации и она принятием ее. Она все еще очень нова к здесь но она получает пользу к идее ее и я думаю она понимает. Мои брат и я освободим все связи если он знал. Мы уже имели arguement о ем над летом в Германии. Было очень большой дракой. Мы не пришли к счастливому заключению.

Я реально как раз ненавижу haven для того чтобы изменить мой рассказ когда я должен поговорить к семье и я желаю я смогло как раз сказать им но right now не правое время. Я приходил очень close to справедливое высказывание оно поэтому много времен, но я как раз замер прежде чем я смог сказать его. Он реально ушибает потому что я знаю что они не любят он. Он также ушибает к здесь им делает комментарии.
День я говорю им придет скоро. Я себя как раз конюшня прежде чем я могу. Untill после этого я как раз держать пойти о моей двойной жизни.

Настроение: worried
Музыка: Breathe, --Ethridge

Так моя жизнь шла наилучшим образом. Друг датирует противника. Мы увидим сколько времени то последнее. Оно будет справедлив я все собой этот викэнд. Я желаю я смогло выйти и пойти где-то. Я мог пойти увидеть друга на субботе. Я не уверен как то пойдет. Я иду помочь другу более поздно. Этот викэнд я имею много сделать и even more вещи, котор нужно потревожиться около. Я пройти этот семестр! Я чувствую более лучшим о мои восможности трудоустройства на будущее. Я справедливые уверенными где я хочу жить or even как я иду позволять его. Я желаю я было сделано с коллежем. Я получаю реально утомлял быть здесь. Добавочно я как раз хочу начать моя жизнь.Я хочу мое собственное место и я хочу мочь сделать я хочу сделать без ограничений от любого еще. Если я хочу пойти разбить, то я могу как раз пойти без тупоумного curfew. Или я могу выпить и партия с всегда я хотел был бы к.Только 9 больше месяцев этого и меня будет свободно!!! Останьтесь сильным charles. Хороший buddy везения!

Настроение: contemplative
Музыка: Chumbawumba

So yeah hasn't the world been just dandy to all of us lately. I've been somewhat, okay not really at all, attending classes. Only just for exams! I've honestly lost all will. I know i need to pass to graduate in december, but for some reason i'd rather just get all my money together, sell everything and just fly to a small country and live the rest of my days out there somewhere in the world. I'm just really tired of the same shit and plus just dumb people. Theres also been the whole issue with who are my friends. Well you know i'm sorry and I know most WONT agree but whatever, I hope atleast you'll get over it, but we are friends and it'l probably stay that way. Yeah we fight and yeah we both are assholes and over dramatic most of the time (which is probably the reason why things look worse than they really are i guess) but anyway we fight, we get over it and move on. Right now we are in the move on phase. Him and I have had some long talks, whether you think they are genuine or not, not my concern. If it turns and bits my ass later, oh well, but for now this is how its gonna be. So if i could not get shit from everyone all the time about it, that would be great. On another note i'm concerend for some friends so i might disappear for a while to take care of them. I need to take the time and take care of some people who have been very good to me before others were. Hmmm what else....So i thought i about eating right and excersizing to get that body i've always wanted....Yeah fuck that idea. I'm gonna just keep eating the same unhealthy shit, if its gonna cause me to loose a couple of years in the end, at least i will die eating ribs and fried chicken!!!! Ummmm what else....the next person to say shit about how i might be doing my job without talking to me first.....GRRRRRRRR...major GRRRRRRRR.


On another note Me and the Mrs. have had some really good talks lately about certain things in life. They really help us get to know eachother and how we feel on certain issues or topics. We tend to not agree but i like it that way cause at least then we are our own people. Things are working out really great with us. I'm very happy!

Настроение: cranky
Музыка: Looking good and feeling gorgeous Ru Paul

So last week was Spring break, my last one ever :-( But it was amazing so its a good fit as my last spring break. I flew out to see my man. I was very excited to see him and have him in my arms. That night we went clubbing!!! Had a BLAST. LA has a good club scene from what i gathered. The nest day we had a dinner party where i met all of his wonderful friends. I like all of them, they are all so nice and just great. His roommates are really cool too, so heres a little "shout-out" to yall! On Monday we went down to the beach. It was one of the best days ever. Standing on the beach in the water and just looking back at him, i knew that i loved him. We were down in Santa Monica and then drove up the coast to Malibu and Point Dume. We then watched the sunset from a beach cliff. It was beyond words to have him in my arms at that moment. He makes me so very happy. We then drove back home and took the long way back down the coast and through downtown LA. As we were going down the coast I was playing with his hair while he was driving and I was just watching him. I couldn't stop staring at him. He then "got something in his eye" and I just wanted to hold him and kiss him. That was yet another perfect moment of that day. Later that night we told eachother that we loved one another! The rest of the week he took me around LA and it was just so great to be with him and i can't wait for him to come up here in April. We'll i have to cut this one short now cause the computer has to restart for some reason in 2 minutes it saying but i'll continue in the next entry. Long story short California was amazing, Wil I love you and miss you!

Настроение: cheerful

So it is one week till i go get to see my baby in good'ole California. It should be an amazing trip!!! Speaking of him, his visit was incredible. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. He such a great guy and I'm so happy to be with him! We went clubbing and I got to meet some of his friends and he met mine. It was a really good time!
Last night Myk and I got yet into another fight, and yes we are back to normal again. It appears to be a viscous cycle of us getting pissed off, not talking, yelling and then making up. A lot was said last night and hopefully this should lead to a better friendship where we aren't constantly bitching. He is a really good friend and there is just something that won't allow me to just give up on our friendship. So i know its tuff at times but I know he's a good person and he does show it. Myk you know I love ya and I'm not gonna give up on our friendship. So thats it about that.
Back to my Babe hes so awesome!!!!!!! Cant wait to see him lots of XXXXXXX's and OOOOOOO's!!!!!!
I get to graduate in december pending I dont fuck up and fail any classes. Which leads me to probably withdrawing form english since i havent gone to class in february. Yeah I admit i fucked that up buti'll take it this summer.. As far as the rest of my classes go, I'll be going to them. I really want to try and push for all B's. I did alright on my first exams so i shoul dbe okay as long as i go to class and study!!!


So thats it for now.. Babe I miss ya and I think about you all the time!

Настроение: chipper
Музыка: Chumbawumba

So lets see what has happened... For starts my new favorite song is "California Dreaming" due to certain lyrics stating that i'd be safe and warm if I was in LA..Which is very true! All has worked out and my Cali guy will be up here in 40 hours!!!!!!!! I just can't wait to see him. Evreyone is very anxious to meet him, since he is all I talk about. Plus they see how happy i get just saying his name, so they are interested in this mystery boy. I have some things i want to do with him, but i mainly just want to have us time to just lay down and talk and cuddle and all that gay shit. And if you didn't know, hes very very attractive on the outside and has a huge heart on the inside thats just as beautiful.
On another note, the micheal drama has taken a pause and we are on great terms again. I took charge, again, and talk to him first. I let him know how he really hurt me with what he said and how it could've been portrayed differently in a manner that would still be respectful to me as well as my Cali guy. After a long talk at 3 am, we fixed the issue and have moved on. Needless to say a certain fenton girl is very happy that its all over. Not that it had anything to do with her anyway....LOL... J/K. ....
I almost went to all of my classes last week, hehehe, I skipped out on the last day. I just hate going to class. The professors seem like they hate their jobs and they aren't excited or the slightest bit enthused about the subject. So i don't go cause i want to keep a positive image for what i'm goin gto be doing for the rest of my life.
The computer is gone and so i am horribly bored at the desk. So all i do now is make signs and origami!!!!! So on the upside the residents will have a lot of programing to choose from this semester!!! I also applied to be CHD this summer, so we shall see how that goes...crossing fingers... I will be an RA for next year. Mike and Dustin are my probable roommates for next year, Which is pretty cool, cause they are both awesome.

So long story short, Cali guy will soon be here (!!!! ) Mike and I are friends, I still hate school but love my field, No more comp= more programing, and more reslife this summer.

Настроение: accomplished
Музыка: Closer You Get- Dido, hidden track

So let me just vent a little bit.... Well shitfuck has earned his name again. He is being such a hypocrite and wont even let me speak. He's been very rude and disrespectful to me without cause so you know what...screw him. I'm sick of telling me what to do and trying ot control me. Its not his choice what i do, and he has no right to speak because of his past actions. Whatever his reasons for being such a jerk to me he needs to get over and and move on. I'm not goin gto speak to him until he apoligizes cause last night he was really mean and i almost cried cause he was being such an ass.
On a happier note, NO PARENTS ON SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!! Only five weeks left and i can't wait to go see him. He is such a great MATURE guy despite what other less intelligent people might say. I'm really happy getting to know him and i can't wait to see him and just be in his arms! Hopefully all will work out so i can see him next week for VDAY otherwise it'll be a sad one.
I started going to classes again. We shall see how long this keeps up. However my babe wants me to go, so thats really my only motivation. I'll go for him, cause I obviously wont go on my own. hehehe!
Anyway's thank you to all of those who are really here for me and that don't have underlying intentions.

I MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH AND I CAN"T WAIT TO SEE YOU. XOXO

Настроение: contemplative
Музыка: Take My Hand..Dido

So...first off my family is really going to California on Spring Break. That should make things interesting to say the least. But I'll jump that hurdle when i get to it. I went clubbing last night and had a great time. It was a ton of fun and I got hit on a lot and danced with a few guys. However through all of that, all i thought about was one person. Who i wish was there so i could dance and hug and kiss them. So it was a nice little test, and it shows that i really do like this guy a lot and genuinely. Cause the opportunity arose a couple of times to be with someone else, but i did not want to. All I wanted was to be with my Cali guy. And speaking of him, he who makes me smile, He sent me roses today!! What more could a guy ask for....except maybe a plane ticket. He is soo sweet and just wonderful and I cant wait to see him again. Just saying his name puts a huge grin on my face. He's just awesome and so adorable and cute! I really enjoy the flowers, so thank you very much! So I am really anxious to see him again and am seeing what ways i might be able to visit sooner cause i dont want to wait 5 weeks to have him in my arms. Though he is well worth the wait. I could just XOXOXOXO......grrrr California. I just want to sleep next to him and be in his arms and just look into his eyes and play with his hair and have him fall asleep in my arms. So as you can tell, I really like this guy, plus he's really good to me and respects me and treats me like i should be treated. So yet again, he's awesome. Well thats it for now.....5 weeks and you're mine!!!!

Настроение: giddy
Музыка: Get Me Off- Bassment Jaxx

So this would be the first grand entry of my journal!! I was and still am formally against the livejournal due to past experience with it. However i was convinced to join by a certain someone, so here I am on this. 2005 is going quite well. Much better than expected. This year i made some resolutions that involve me getting off my ass and doing somestuff. This icluded going out to clubs and meeting new people. The people of CMU are starting to get old so i need to see some new faces. SO I've been clubbing in Lansing and Ann Arbor and have meet some really cool people. One person in paticular has caught my eye! We shall see how that all works out. Some people aren't too fond of how things have been working out for me, but to them i say tough and get over it. Some old habits habits have been dropped or at least will be. This year I am really going to do more what is best for me. I guess i put certain peoples needs before mine, and take care of them eventhough it may hinder me. On a happier note spring break should be awesome!!! I'll be out in california, checking out the sites as well as other things. I hear there are some really cute, sweet, funny, hot, and did i mention cute guys at Glendale. But anyway, I've been very happy lately and life is going awesome. I dont get too much sleep but i enjoy the reasons why i might be up so late. So this year is turning out to be wonderful and hopefully it will continue!
Au revoir

Настроение: happy
Музыка: Proud by Heather Small